A L!ttlE B!t oF Wh!mSy

A Revival

2010-02-12T15:35:00.000-08:00

Years after my last post, I decided to look up my old account.I'm not exactly sure what prompted me to do it, but the moment I read the old articles, I just got the urge to start writing again.

I've missed being able to put my thoughts on paper. Or in the computer screen, at least...I've missed the freedom I felt whenever I allowed myself to just let my fingers fly over the keyboard. I hope I could start doing this regularly again. If only to bring life to my random thoughts...

just to ease the boredom...

2005-06-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon.
You're in touch with your emotions and intuition.
You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory.
Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone).
A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

What Planet Are You From?

about the keys to my heart...

2005-06-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

it's weird what insights a little test can reveal about a person...

i saw the quiz on my friend chito's page and for the lack of a better thing to do, decided to answer it. most of the answers were routine - everyone who knows me would know what i'm like anyway. what struck me was the thing about my being afraid of marriage.

what a statement!!!

i remember a friend using the word "commitmentphobic" to describe herself and i'm wondering, "am i that person too?". actually, i'm not so sure...

i used to love being in a relationship. it can be hard work, i know, but it can also be the light at the end of that oh-so-dark tunnel. just having someone to share "stuff" with was such a joy. but even then, i knew that i was nowhere near the "marrying stage" as some people might call it. even now at 25, which, some might consider "ancient", i still don't think i'm ready for that. there's still so much to do, so many people to meet, places to visit, dreams to fulfill...

when an ex proposed marriage aeons ago, i had to stop myself from blurting out, "are you crazy?!?!?!?!how can you want to tie the knot at this age?!?!?!?!". of course, i never said that. i didn't want to hurt him... but when i read the results of the quiz, it got me thinking...was i just making excuses then? or am i just afraid of what marriage will do to change me and the life that i have made for myself?

hmmmnnnn...

anyway, why the hell am i even thinking about this? i don't even have a boyfriend!

***pooof!****

a little insight...

2005-06-09T10:48:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2005-05-28T02:55:00.000-07:00

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

boredom and madness II

2005-05-26T01:24:00.000-07:00

today may be topping the list of the most boring days of my life...

i'm sitting in front of the computer doing nothing but browsing through sites that i don't really have any interest in just so i can have something to do.

don't belive me? look at my previous post...i finally decided to take one of those personality quizzes just to pass the time. thank's for the idea macy! at least i got the result that i wanted, right? it had to be the amazing race! =P

speaking of the travelling...macy and i are planning on going to bangkok by october. she just told me last night that we would need to save at least 3 thousand per salary so we can have enough money for the trip.

wish us luck, you guys! with our talent at spending, we'll need all the luck we can get!

the ultimate dream...

2005-05-26T01:23:00.000-07:00

Take the quiz: "Which Reality Show do You Belong In??? -Pictures-"

Amazing Race
You like to travel and see beautiful things...RUN FASTER

sick and tired...

2005-05-16T07:37:00.000-07:00

it's about an hour and a half 'til end shift and i'm feeling the toll of my 8-day work week.

"it's payback time!!!", says my evil self. because of the desire to have a long vacation i'm now suffering the consequences...i swapped scheds with one of my officemates (thanks frannie!!!) so now i have to work for 10 straight days. 4 days into the work week i developed a cough. yesterday, my colds started.

"dis is not pani enimor ha?!?!?!?!", has been my favorite line for this week. i can't stand all the coughing. where's the glamour in that? sigh...

i can't wait for wednesday....Lord, give me patience, right now!!!

retraction...

2005-05-15T01:44:00.000-07:00

i decided to post the last draft that i had on my blog only to take a few things back with this one...

no, i'm not gonna say that i was not able to go home after all...i just wasn't able to meet up with macy and eira in boracay. i was able to go but i didn't even stay overnight....it was purely business and it wasn't even mine...but still, i had fun frolicking in the sand with my cousin who decided to go with me.we baked in the sun for a few hours, ate some seafood, swam, then packed our things and went home.

an 8-day break from work did wonders for me. i was able to spend time with my family and high school friends and most of all i finally got to have some decent sleep... god, i miss my bumming around days!!!

but now i'm back in the real world...to a life of traffic jams, irate customers, and unbearable heat.

why couldn't life be "just a beach"?!?!?!?!

something to look forward to...

2005-04-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

i haven't posted anything on my blog for months...

as i've always said, i'm not the type who likes having other people read my thoughts. but sitting on your desk doing nothing isn't such a good way to pass the time so i opened my account and decided to just type on...

i don't really have that much to write about right now. life hasn't been that eventful. if i think about it, i might even say that it's been downright boring...sigh!!! except for my spur of the moment after shift gimmicks with friends life has been almost routinary.

but, lo and behold!!!

after months of slaving away at work i'm finally beginning to feel the spirit of fun. i'm about to go home to aklan and i cannot wait!

boracay, here i come!!!!

i'm counting the days until i can finally feel the salty air on my face and white sand between my toes. it's been a while since i've been there...about a year, i think. the last time i went there i had so much fun with my sister and cousins. this time, i'm looking forward to spending it with friends. i can hear the reggae music and taste the margaritas!

sundaes on a sunday...

2004-11-20T23:44:00.000-08:00

i just got to finish my last spoonful of the amazingly sinful sundae that I bought...i know i should't have as i'm always saying that i'm going to have to watch the calories...but what the heck!?!?!?!?! what better way to spend a sunday afternoon at work with nothing to do but look at other people's nonsensical blogs and write my own one than to gobble up that sinful confection. riiiggghhhhtttttt?!?!?!?!

but,dang! i wish i was doing something else. preferably lazing away in front of the tv or on the hammock under the shade of the mango trees in aklan. i would kill for another 14 day vacation right now....but sadly, i can't as i don't have any more paid time off's...too many "i'm too lazy to go to work days" i guess...and now, i'm paying for it.

even sadder....i can't even go home for christmas or new year since i wouldn't be able to file for leave. talk about pure torture!!! this is going to be my second christmas away from home...sigh!!!

see why i had to gobble up the sundae?!?!?! i need the sugar rush...it might lift me up on this gloomy day...

boredom and madness

2004-10-13T17:18:00.000-07:00

has research ever been done about the relationship between boredom and madness?

this was the thought that popped in my mind after hours of thumb twiddling and net surfing at this godawful place where i'm supposed to work...

i know i shouldn't be complaining...i'm paid to take calls and yet in an 8-hour shift, i've only actually spoken with 9 callers. my friend asked me once... "what are you so unhappy about? aren't you supposed to celebrate because of that fact?".

that question got me thinking...

i usually feel happy because of the fact that i don't get as harrassed as my other friends at work...they get more stressed as they normally get twice as many calls as i do. but how much can one woman take?!?!

i've been sitting here for almost seven hours now...surfing the net...talking to my seatmate and other on-line friends who have now all come and gone...and i'm getting bored...and restless...

thus, the birth of that light-bulb moment...

i just think that it would be great if someone can actually find the time to delve into that. if i had the drive, and the knowledge, and the resources i might even do that myself... but then...i don't! so i guess i'll just have to leave that question hanging... =P

love letters...

2004-10-11T15:22:00.000-07:00

i was trying to put some order to my usually messy room when i happened to spot this old delapidated box under my bed. it was all scrunched up, all dusty and worn from years of neglect. i didn't remember what the contents were so armed with curiousity i opened it up and found the doorway to my memories.

the box was stuffed with letters...letters dating from the time when my friend, then bestfriend, then boyfriend, then ex-boyfriend started giving me those nonsensical little post-its. i sorted through them with care, reading some of those letters that i used to guard with my life. i used to lock them up lest my sisters or anyone else, for that matter, sifted through them and got a glimpse of the relationship that we called "ours".

i can't believe that it's been two long years...two years of new memories and experiences stocked in my mind leading me to somehow forget those that i managed to previously cherish. and those slips of paper, with mostly scribbled-in-a-rush notes, allowed them all to come flooding back.

those memories also brought back regrets...i was never one to dwell on them so i just stacked them away in the deepest recesses of my oftenly illogical mind, but still, there are those times when one just wants to go back in time and think about life's what if's...

that happened to be one of those days...

my defenses down, i thought about what might have happened had we not broken up. if i hadn't blown-up that little fight that started it all... could i have been married by now? have a kid of my own? have my own picket-fenced house?

i guess i'll never know... he's with someone else now... someone who's hopefully making him happy.

i didn't think i could feel that way...that i could find it in me to wish them happiness. i guess i've finally moved on...

so now, i'll just have to put those old letters back to where they belong...under my bed and forgotten...

until the next time...

horoscopes...

2004-09-29T11:40:00.000-07:00

it's weird how something as taken for granted as your daily horoscope can sometimes take you somewhere you've never even dreamed of being before....

it's not that i'm obsessed with reading them or anything. i have to admit though that browsing through them while waiting for a call helps me pass the time. and then, there are those days when you get to read one of those daily predictions and wild images come to mind...

i had one of those moments yesterday. in fact, i've been having quite a few of those lightbulb moments lately, which, i must say, got me thinking...

am i really this desperate? am i really this dissatisfied with my life that i've resorted to reading my daily horoscope and then weaving my fantasies out of them? i certainly hope not...

i wonder if there are other people who do the same thing that i do though...are there other beings out there who, perhaps out of desperation or sheer boredom, find themselves going on-line, opening a browser and then going directly to the horoscope section. i do hope so...

because if there aren't, that would just confirm my suspicions...

that i'm all alone in this world...alone in my boredom...alone, with nothing but my dreams...

a disaster waiting to happen...

2004-09-20T14:04:00.000-07:00

i don't really know why i keep doing this to myself...i've been through a lot and i'm certainly old enough but i just don't know why i still keep falling for the wrong people....i know i can't be called stupid.so the question then would be, "if i'm not stupid,what am i?".

sometimes i feel like banging my head on a wall...hoping that that will be the end to all my problems.but, the coward in me just can't stand the thought of pain.so i make do with what i have and continue to live my sorry excuse for a life...

i got to talk to my so-called "friend" again today.thank goodness we didn't go on and on and on about his unrequited love for this girl/woman/b*tch that he also refers to as his bestfriend.if i weren't so in-like with him and too afraid that having him face the godawful truth that she just doesn't like him might end our daily conversations, i'd go all the way to where he is and slap the doggone info on his face.but then again...as i am the coward that i am...i had to restrain the impulse and keep my opinions to myself.

i know that what i'm doing isn't good for me.why should it be when i'm hurting myself just talking to him?he tells me about his "bestfriend' and my stomach turns and my heart does this little twitching move...but do i stop?of course not!!! i continue to torture myself and give these little food for thoughts hoping that sooner or later he'll realize how futile this exercise is and finally stop...

i hope it does...and i hope it happens soon...because if it doesn't i might just keel over and die...